“Or as Biden calls it: Operation Early-Bird Special,” Jimmy Fallon joked on “The Tonight Show.”
“They just couldn’t wait to pee in a trough again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“You know how they kept the virus away? They did the wave and they just fanned it all the way to Arkansas.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It was a strange game. It was the first time umpires were trying to get themselves thrown out.” — JIMMY FALLON
“For those keeping score, the Rangers lost 6-2. So you can understand why the fans were excited: They only have 80 more chances this season to see the Rangers lose at home.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Trevor Noah broke down the pros and cons of vaccine passports on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Julien Baker will perform a track from her latest album, “Little Oblivions,” on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”
